Demystifying Prostate Massage for Straight Men and Couples

The Benefits of Prostate Massage for Everyone

Let's talk about anal play. The subject is often uncomfortable for heterosexual men and women to talk about. So we’re here to try and remove the taboos around it, offer our tips for using the best prostate massager, and discuss the benefits of prostate milking and anal play for everyone, straight men and couples included.

We've heard about prostate massage from a top's perspective, but what about the straight guys? Studies have shown that 24% of heterosexual men have received anal penetration with a finger from their female partner. That’s one out of every four straight men, and our experience tells us that there are probably more who don’t want to talk about it.

“I was introduced to prostate massage by a girl I was dating several years ago,” said Jesse C., a GIDDI customer.

“I don’t think she knew what she was doing exactly, just that putting her finger up my bum felt really good to me. After we broke up, I bought a hands free prostate massager to try it on my own and have been using it ever since. I also learned about the health benefits of prostate massage, so hopefully this will help as I get older too."

"Now that I’m married, my wife and I use lots of toys, including the TOMO prostate massager, to keep things exciting in the bedroom. We’ve also tried several cock rings and we love MOBY. We always use water-based lube, not oil or anything else, and we both enjoy anal play."

"I try to tell people how great it is if the topic comes up, which it rarely does because it’s such a taboo subject. People should really try being more open minded. There’s more ways to pleasure each other than just missionary position.”

Regular prostate massage can also lead to long lasting health and wellness benefits and enhanced pleasure experiences. These benefits are available to all men, gay or straight, solo or with a partner.

1.) Explosive orgasms

Achieving mind-blowing orgasms can become more difficult over time. Many men report increased ejaculation and more intense orgasms as a result of direct prostate stimulation. Since TOMO can be enjoyed hands-free, the pleasure benefits of prostate massage can be enjoyed solo or with a partner.

2.) Stronger erections

You may not know this, but around one third of the penis is located inside the body. As a result, prostate stimulation can reach that inner part of the penis, leading to stronger erections. Regular prostate massage can also lead to harder and thicker erections over time due to increased circulation and ease of fluid flow.

3.) Reduces pain & risk

Compressed fluid can be painful and lead to other, more serious health problems. With prostate massage, you can alleviate this pain and prevent erectile dysfunction and other health issues.

The anal area is packed with nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated. When done correctly and in moderation, prostate massage will enhance your pleasure experience and promote your general health and wellness.

Here are some of our top tips for getting the most out of your anal play experience.

How to Use a Prostate Massager & Top Tips for Anal Play

1.) Stop feeling awkward and just relax

The first step is putting aside any pre-judgements you have about the experience. Keeping your sex life fun and exciting means exploring new experiences and letting go of some inhibitions.

Though anal play may seem intimidating, remain open minded and it can be a new pleasure experience for both you and your partner. You don’t know how good it can be if you never try.

2.) Clean appropriately

Part of the apprehension around anal play is the “exit only” nature of that area. It’s important to note that feces is not stored in the rectum. Think of the rectum as the passageway for it to leave the body, not the holding area.

That being said, make sure to clean appropriately in that area before engaging in anal play. Showering together can also be a fun, sensual way to get cleaned up and turned on before you get down to business.

If you are using a prostate massager or other pleasure device for anal penetration, make sure to properly clean your intimate investment after every use. We recommend using the Wicked Foam Toy Cleaner, a healthier alternative to everyday soap and water enhanced with Olive leaf, Thyme, and Lavender extracts.

3.) Lube, lube, lube

While the vagina creates a natural lubricant, the anus does not. Using a lube in this area is critical to an enjoyable anal experience. We recommend a water-based personal lubricant like Ride Bodyworx.

Ride Bodyworx is a thick water-based gel that does not run, drip or create a mess. It has no color, smell or taste, is easy to clean-up and will not stain your sheets!

Regardless of whether your partner is using their finger(s), or a hands free prostate massager like TOMO, you must use lots of lube! We recommend applying lube on and around the anus as well as on your pleasure device and/or fingers.

4.) Take your time

Make sure to take your time. You or your partner should start by massaging the area gently with fingers. Then slowly insert one finger into your anus. If that feels good, then try two fingers or experiment with a pleasure device.

The prostate is located about 3-4 inches up so it may take some time to get there. It is about the size of a walnut and has a similar shape. The prostate massage should be a gentle “come hither” motion, with the finger(s) slowly completing the motion on the prostate.

This should feel amazing. If it doesn’t, try to guide your partner or try other positions until it does. Always stop immediately if you feel pain.

5.) Practice makes perfect

Once you know what you like the old adage applies, practice makes perfect. The more you practice on your own or with a partner, the better it will be and you will connect more with the experience.

Once you’re comfortable with anal play, you can also try using pleasure devices. You might even want to try other toys like plugs or beads.

6.) How to use a prostate massager

For solo play, many people enjoy prostate massage while lying on their back with knees up, or on their side in the fetal position. For couples, some prefer to be bent over in a “doggy-style” like position with their partner behind them delivering the magic. Feel free to use your fingers to relax your sphincter muscle before any penetration.

We strongly believe that TOMO by GIDDI is the all around best male prostate toy. Thus, we are going to explain best practice for using TOMO, which can be applied to the use of other prostate massagers.

TOMO has two heads, a primary “p-spot” head and a secondary “perineum head”, or “external head”. Carefully insert the primary head, ensuring that TOMO curves up towards your stomach. The secondary head should be touching your perineum, the area located between your scrotum and anus.

Once you have inserted the device, feel free to experiment with various vibration and motion settings. Don’t forget that you and/or your partner can stimulate the penis, scrotum and other parts of the body while massaging the prostate at the same time. Simultaneously stimulating the penis and prostate can often lead to intense orgasms!

Make sure to breath and relax throughout the entire experience. Never force insertion and always stop immediately if you feel pain. As always, use lots of lube around the anus and on any pleasure device you may be using.

Learn more about TOMO and what makes it the best prostate massager by reading 8 Things to Know about the TOMO Prostate Massager.

Prostate Massager Reviews & Testimonials

But don’t just take it from us! We've consulted with several heterosexual men who enjoy anal play and prostate massage to get their perspectives of the experience, how they like to be stimulated in that area, and what they’ve tried with their female partners.

Matt S. - Philadelphia, PA

“I didn’t have any experience with prostate massage. I’d heard about it, with a finger at least, and knew I wanted to try it. I wasn’t sure about using an actual sex toy. I didn’t want to ask a girl I was just hooking up with if she wanted to do it. When I got in a serious relationship, eventually I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to try it and she said yes. We did some research and she started with her finger first. We used lots of lube and she massaged my prostate and it felt amazing. I had an incredible orgasm and we’re looking forward to doing it again soon. She’s also open to anal sex now too, which I’m excited about.”

Christopher N. - Fort Worth, TX

"I am a middle aged, happily married hetero guy that is not new to p-spot play or quality anal toys. The design and size of TOMO is perfect. It is so easy to insert and requires very little water-based lube. The TOMO will stay put so the "come hither" motion feels greater and there is no slippage. It most certainly hits the p-spot as it was designed. It did not make me climax on its own, but with it in and my wife and I doing our thing, I would put it up there with one of the best orgasms ever."

We hope you’re always kind to your behind. And remember, with GIDDI, pleasure and wellness is yours.

Further Reading: How To Insert a Prostate Massager

Questions or feedback? Contact us or email us at

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