The prostate is a small gland hidden between the bladder and penis, along the anterior wall of the rectum.
It can be reached from two directions: indirectly through the perineum, the area located between your scrotum and anus, or directly through the anus.
Don't write off the latter option just yet, though.
Men's plumbing is designed for pleasure, and it even comes with several health benefits.
With the help of a massager, milking the prostate can even leave you hands free for more important things.
Your creativity is your only limit.
How Do I Know When I've Found the Prostate?
Much like the G-spot, the prostate feels like a dense, spongy ball of tissue, and it's just as eager for touch.
It can be reluctant at first, though, so the first 10 minutes of your P-spot massage might not blow your socks (or condom) off (what were you thinking wearing socks to bed in the first place?).
As the prostate swells, it leans into the urethra, so when it starts releasing fluid, it might give you a sensation similar to urinating. Don't let that bother you too much.
Once you've hit the pleasure bump, get ready for p-spot ecstasy.
What Does a P-Spot Orgasm Feel Like?
Until now, you might have looked at the female orgasm as the queen of the species, but prostate orgasms bring some much-needed equality to the mix. Expect full-body sensations that feel similar to, but more intense than your typical climaxes.
"A lot of men who we've talked to have said that, when they experienced prostate massage for the first time, it felt like the beginning of an orgasm, but lasting for 20 minutes," explained Charlie Glickman.
Laz describes his prostate orgasms as "mind erasing." He says, "I've experienced several actual anal orgasms by using a vibrating prostate massager. On all occasions, I had an orgasm, complete with ejaculation with absolutely no stimulation of my penis."
Some people even experience “super orgasms,” sometimes described as a continuous barrage of shuddering sensations. Another ambitious P-Player can vouch that these do in fact exist.
"Super orgasms are very rare," says Jim, "I've done it only twice in my lifetime, but I was nearly in tears. It's an amazing full-body orgasm that I can only describe as an out of body experience. I thought I was going to pass out." Luke describes his experience in fewer words.
"Wow. I exceeded my wildest expectations. I fired a shot over my shoulder!!! That hasn't happened in probably 20-25 years. I was shocked...very pleasantly shocked."
What, exactly, does a prostate orgasm feel like, though?
"I get a lot of pressure and a lot of pleasure," Ryan told Vice, "but in waves that are hard to locate in a specific spot on my body.”
The most important element of prostate pleasure is the fact that there is no right way; only your own preferences and explorations. You might ultimately decide that prostate orgasms aren't for you, and that's okay.
This is your body, your feelings, and your fun. We don't think doing things you don't want to do is much fun unless that's the entire kinky point, but experimentation is the only way to work out what works for you.
Prostate Milking vs. Male Orgasms
All ejaculate and no orgasmia? Don't worry, you are not immune to P-spot orgasms.
What you have experienced may be pure prostate milking. This is when you massage your prostate until it produces a thin, milky fluid known as prostate fluid, which actually looks a lot like semen.
Prostate milking for therapeutic purposes dates back to the late 19th century, when doctors performed massages to treat prostatitis. Today, it can refer to prostate stimulation for both sexual pleasure and sexual wellness.
Not everyone will orgasm during prostate milking right off the bat. If that is the case, you may just need to make some adjustments to your routine. Try a different position, involve some vibrating toys, or add more penis stimulation to make an orgasm more likely to happen.
Does Prostate Massage Make Me or My Partner Gay?
Anal pleasure is mired in homophobic taboos, but body parts are neither straight nor gay. As long as you have a prostate, you can enjoy the many benefits of prostate massage, and you aren't alone in your desire to give it a try.
In fact, 71% of straight men have or would consider trying prostate massage. With numbers that high, it’s hard to understand how prostate play hasn’t been accepted into more heterosexual conversations.
The problems seem to surface when guys have a hard time giving up their role as the penetrator, and stepping into the receiver role.
Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast told AlterNet, “There are plenty of straight guys who like prostate play but are afraid to tell their pals, because no one else has talked about it. They think, ‘I don’t want to be the first one to say it, so I’m just going to pretend I don’t like it.’
Of course, prostate play can be scary in the beginning, but if you take it slow, you will soon settle into the fun parts. Cory, 32, told us, “I prefer using prostate toys during partnered environments. I can be inside of someone and someone can be inside of me. I mean, there’s a psychological aspect I like, having a woman fuck me.”
Prostate play can definitely add an exciting new dimension to your sex life as well as potentially provide a number of long term health and wellness benefits. We can promise that pushing past your sexual stereotypes is well worth the courage.
Practice Safe Prostate Massage
The prostate lives in your urinary system's neighborhood. So don't wander into the wrong streets if you have a bladder or urethral condition or if you have been diagnosed with any serious medical conditions. Always make sure to consult your doctor.
Prostate milking can be harmful if you have:
Acute prostatitis: Your prostate is as prone to infection as your kidneys and sinuses. If you or your partner notices any swelling, take anal play and prostate massage off the table until you can consult a doctor.
Hemorrhoids: The rectum is a sensitive beast, and some of us cope better with internal massage than others. If you're prone to hemorrhoids, reach the prostate through the taint. It's as easy as that.
Prostatic calculi: These poppy seed-sized stones develop in the prostate as a symptom of benign prostatic hyperplasia. Milking a calculi-infused prostate can scratch and irritate the gland.
Prostate cancer: Malignancy is a delicate thing. Cancer is always waiting for an opportunity to metastasize, and milking can be that opportunity. If you haven't had your prostate checked in the last year, this is your cue.
The Health Benefits
It can help improve erectile dysfunction: Before the medications for erectile dysfunction hit the market, men were doing this method of treatment for years. Self-stimulation alone or with other therapeutic sexual aids can also work in combination with each other.
It can help improve urine flow: Milking can flush out the gland and relieve swelling. Studies even suggest that it can soothe pain and pressure in patients who have infections. If your urethra is too swollen to let urine through, a P-spot orgasm might be just what the doctor ordered.
It can help treat prostatitis: Prostate massage is like spring cleaning for the prostate duct and can reduce swelling and inflammation caused by prostatitis. We hear it's the most entertaining medical treatment on the market. If your prostatitis is acute then do not massage your prostate and consult your doctor immediately.
It can help reduce stress: A prostate massage a day will keep the psychiatrist away. Orgasms send oxytocin into overdrive. That's the cuddle hormone, and it's just the trick for curing sleepless nights and anxious days. It can even form a small part of your depression therapy.
It can lower the risk of prostate cancer: Even Harvard University thinks you should have more P-spot orgasms. Researchers recently found out that pleasure and prostate health are intricately linked. 21 or more orgasms a month are ideal, but even seven monthly ejaculations can reduce prostate cancer risk. Hop to it, my friends.
The Pleasure Benefits
It can help with a stronger erection: By increasing blood flow to the pelvic area, prostate milking can bring you turbocharged erection capabilities, strength and hardness of the erection, while even increasing ejaculate production.
It can result in a stronger orgasm: By incorporating prostate play during intercourse, you can achieve an orgasm that’s significantly stronger than only having penis stimulation. How much bigger is this next-level orgasm? Some claim 33 percent bigger. With kegel exercises in the mix, you can dial up orgasm strength like the beautiful bass on a pair of heavy duty Bose speakers.
It can result in multiple orgasms: Traditional orgasms result in what’s called a refractory period. With prostate massage, there is no refractory period. You might lose your erection post-ejaculation, but with the prostate at your side, you can keep going and going (and going).
Prostate Massage: The How-to
Whether you're going solo or with the help of a partner, there are as many ways to massage a prostate as there are to stimulate a penis. You can circle, tap, press or stroke it in a come-hither motion. You can expose it to vibrators or pressure toys. You can stimulate it anally or through the taint. This is the time for experimenting. Welcome to one of your greatest sexual adventures!
How to Prepare for Prostate Massage Milking
Relax: Prostate pleasure is hugely dependent on how relaxed you (and your anus) are prior to penetration. If you are getting nervous or feeling uncomfortable, your anal sphincter tends to tighten, making penetration painful. So, for the best shot at a prostate orgasm, it’s important that you get relaxed, comfortable and aroused. Try taking a hot steamy shower, turning on some soothing music, practice breathing exercises, or surround yourself with pillows in bed. It’s your warm up, do whatever you need to get yourself in the mood.
Wash up: While some anal play enthusiasts swear by enemas, you don't need to perform a dramatic washout before play. Fecal matter doesn't usually hang out in the rectum, so a small enema bulb or well-directed shower head will take care of the few inches you need to cleanse before your first prostate massage.
Disinfect: If you’re using toys, make sure they are carefully cleaned of any residue prior to use. Sterilize them in a UV sterilizer bag after, which kills 99.9% of bacteria from your toys without harming that expensive velvety surface. Ultraviolet Germicidal Irradiation might sound like a mouthful, but it's as easy as packing your kit and waiting.
Add Waterproofing: Bodies don't always do what you expect them to, and lube is messy, so prepare your play space with some towels.
Use the bathroom: Prostate play can make you feel as though you need to urinate, so a last stop to the bathroom will make you feel a little safer.
Lubricate: The three most important rules for prostate massage is:
- And more lube.
How to Choose the Best Anal Lube
For massages - coconut and almond oils are great for sensual massages and anal play, but not if you plan on wearing a condom or playing with a toy. Oil will quickly cause tugging, tearing and warping, so go for a high-quality water-based lubricant instead.
For penetration - the anus isn’t self-lubricating so you’ll want to buy a lube that creates a good friction barrier. This means a thick silicone lubricant for anal play, because it’ll never dry out. A good silicone lubricant will keep your skin happy and evade irritation, but keep in mind it too will warp your silicone toys.
For sex toys - You can not use silicone lube with silicone toys, so you'll need to resort to water-based lubricants. High-quality water-based lubes are thicker and longer lasting than those of lesser quality. Your prostate will thank you for paying a little more for a well-formulated product.
Start with an External Massage First
Anal play isn't for everyone, but that's what the taint is for. The tiny centimeter between your testicles and rectum is your prostate's secret side entrance.
A full erection should engorge your prostate enough to make discovery a cinch, but without buzzy toys, you'll need to put some muscle into stimulation. Lie on your back, curl your legs towards your chest, and exert well-lubed pressure onto the middle of your landing strip, aiming backwards, towards the spine.
You can throw your knuckles into the mix if finger pressure isn't causing the requisite squealing, and for god's sake, don't forget the lube!
The better you understand the male anatomy, the easier your journey of discovery will be, so break out the metaphorical flashcards and study up. You will be quizzed on your proficiency up next.
Hitting the Prostate with an Internal Massage
Your forefinger is so perfectly sized that you might think Mother Nature had prostate play in mind when she designed the hand.
Stroking: Lube up, then insert your finger all the way in. Once you've penetrated to the knuckle, push towards the navel in a come-hither motion. That little bump you feel is the prostate, and it's never been happier than it is right now.
Circling: If you can withstand it, a circular motion will keep prostate pressure more constant. Widen your circles to dial your intensity down.