The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Massage

Prostate Play: How to Have a Prostate Orgasm

Ever wonder what life would be like if you could have multiple, full-bodied orgasms like the female of the species? Well, wonder no more. Men have their own magical lust button.

The prostate dials up orgasm intensity and duration, and for some lucky people, even makes multiple orgasms a distinct possibility. If the only person who's ever come into contact with your prostate has an MD after their name, there's an entire wonderland of pleasure waiting for you.

We have inquired with top sex educators in order to bring you this comprehensive guide on prostate play, to help newbies, novices and veterans alike.

If you're already an expert and looking for a comprehensive prostate toy buyer's guide then checkout our review of the Best Prostate Massagers.

Also, if you're looking to further enhance your performance and pleasure experience then you will want to dive into our Guide to Male Enhancement  as well as our review of the best penis enlargement products.

prostate massage diagram


The prostate is a small gland about the size of a walnut in the male reproductive system. According to Charlie Glickman, PhD, who wrote The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, if you looked at the prostate, it would look like a little ball with wings, "kind of like the famous ball with wings from the Harry Potter movie [the Snitch]".

The prostate is responsible for protecting and nourishing sperm, and it also expels ejaculation during orgasm - known as “milking”. Nobody really knows why the P-spot is such an efficient pleasure spot, but its mystery is part of its allure.

Where is the Prostate?

your prostate diagram

The prostate is a small gland hidden between the bladder and penis, along the anterior wall of the rectum.

It can be reached from two directions: indirectly through the perineum, the area located between your scrotum and anus, or directly through the anus.

Don't write off the latter option just yet, though.

Men's plumbing is designed for pleasure, and it even comes with several health benefits.

With the help of a massager, milking the prostate can even leave you hands free for more important things.

Your creativity is your only limit.

How Do I Know When I've Found the Prostate?

Much like the G-spot, the prostate feels like a dense, spongy ball of tissue, and it's just as eager for touch.

It can be reluctant at first, though, so the first 10 minutes of your P-spot massage might not blow your socks (or condom) off (what were you thinking wearing socks to bed in the first place?).

As the prostate swells, it leans into the urethra, so when it starts releasing fluid, it might give you a sensation similar to urinating. Don't let that bother you too much.

Once you've hit the pleasure bump, get ready for p-spot ecstasy.


What Does a P-Spot Orgasm Feel Like?

Until now, you might have looked at the female orgasm as the queen of the species, but prostate orgasms bring some much-needed equality to the mix. Expect full-body sensations that feel similar to, but more intense than your typical climaxes.

"A lot of men who we've talked to have said that, when they experienced prostate massage for the first time, it felt like the beginning of an orgasm, but lasting for 20 minutes," explained Charlie Glickman.

Laz describes his prostate orgasms as "mind erasing." He says, "I've experienced several actual anal orgasms by using a vibrating prostate massager. On all occasions, I had an orgasm, complete with ejaculation with absolutely no stimulation of my penis."

What Does a P-Spot Orgasm Feel Like

Some people even experience “super orgasms,” sometimes described as a continuous barrage of shuddering sensations. Another ambitious P-Player can vouch that these do in fact exist.

"Super orgasms are very rare," says Jim, "I've done it only twice in my lifetime, but I was nearly in tears. It's an amazing full-body orgasm that I can only describe as an out of body experience. I thought I was going to pass out." Luke describes his experience in fewer words.

"Wow. I exceeded my wildest expectations. I fired a shot over my shoulder!!! That hasn't happened in probably 20-25 years. I was shocked...very pleasantly shocked."

What, exactly, does a prostate orgasm feel like, though?

"I get a lot of pressure and a lot of pleasure," Ryan told Vice, "but in waves that are hard to locate in a specific spot on my body.”

What Does a prostate Orgasm Feel Like

The most important element of prostate pleasure is the fact that there is no right way; only your own preferences and explorations. You might ultimately decide that prostate orgasms aren't for you, and that's okay.

This is your body, your feelings, and your fun. We don't think doing things you don't want to do is much fun unless that's the entire kinky point, but experimentation is the only way to work out what works for you.

Prostate Milking vs. Male Orgasms

All ejaculate and no orgasmia? Don't worry, you are not immune to P-spot orgasms.

What you have experienced may be pure prostate milking. This is when you massage your prostate until it produces a thin, milky fluid known as prostate fluid, which actually looks a lot like semen.

Prostate Milking vs. Male Orgasms

Prostate milking for therapeutic purposes dates back to the late 19th century, when doctors performed massages to treat prostatitis. Today, it can refer to prostate stimulation for both sexual pleasure and sexual wellness.

Not everyone will orgasm during prostate milking right off the bat. If that is the case, you may just need to make some adjustments to your routine. Try a different position, involve some vibrating toys, or add more penis stimulation to make an orgasm more likely to happen.

Does Prostate Massage Make Me or My Partner Gay?

Anal pleasure is mired in homophobic taboos, but body parts are neither straight nor gay. As long as you have a prostate, you can enjoy the many benefits of prostate massage, and you aren't alone in your desire to give it a try.

In fact, 71% of straight men have or would consider trying prostate massage. With numbers that high, it’s hard to understand how prostate play hasn’t been accepted into more heterosexual conversations.

Does Prostate Massage Make Me gay

The problems seem to surface when guys have a hard time giving up their role as the penetrator, and stepping into the receiver role.

Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast told AlterNet, “There are plenty of straight guys who like prostate play but are afraid to tell their pals, because no one else has talked about it. They think, ‘I don’t want to be the first one to say it, so I’m just going to pretend I don’t like it.’

Of course, prostate play can be scary in the beginning, but if you take it slow, you will soon settle into the fun parts. Cory, 32, told us, “I prefer using prostate toys during partnered environments. I can be inside of someone and someone can be inside of me. I mean, there’s a psychological aspect I like, having a woman fuck me.”

Does Prostate Massage Make Me gay

Prostate play can definitely add an exciting new dimension to your sex life as well as potentially provide a number of long term health and wellness benefits. We can promise that pushing past your sexual stereotypes is well worth the courage.

Practice Safe Prostate Massage

The prostate lives in your urinary system's neighborhood. So don't wander into the wrong streets if you have a bladder or urethral condition or if you have been diagnosed with any serious medical conditions. Always make sure to consult your doctor.

Practice Safe Prostate Massage

Prostate milking can be harmful if you have:

  • Acute prostatitis: Your prostate is as prone to infection as your kidneys and sinuses. If you or your partner notices any swelling, take anal play and prostate massage off the table until you can consult a doctor.
  • Hemorrhoids: The rectum is a sensitive beast, and some of us cope better with internal massage than others. If you're prone to hemorrhoids, reach the prostate through the taint. It's as easy as that.
  • Prostatic calculi: These poppy seed-sized stones develop in the prostate as a symptom of benign prostatic hyperplasia. Milking a calculi-infused prostate can scratch and irritate the gland.
  • Prostate cancer: Malignancy is a delicate thing. Cancer is always waiting for an opportunity to metastasize, and milking can be that opportunity. If you haven't had your prostate checked in the last year, this is your cue.

The Health Benefits

health benefits to prostate massage

  • It can help improve erectile dysfunction: Before the medications for erectile dysfunction hit the market, men were doing this method of treatment for years. Self-stimulation alone or with other therapeutic sexual aids can also work in combination with each other.
  • It can help improve urine flow: Milking can flush out the gland and relieve swelling. Studies even suggest that it can soothe pain and pressure in patients who have infections. If your urethra is too swollen to let urine through, a P-spot orgasm might be just what the doctor ordered.
  • It can help treat prostatitis: Prostate massage is like spring cleaning for the prostate duct and can reduce swelling and inflammation caused by prostatitis. We hear it's the most entertaining medical treatment on the market. If your prostatitis is acute then do not massage your prostate and consult your doctor immediately.
  • It can help reduce stress: A prostate massage a day will keep the psychiatrist away. Orgasms send oxytocin into overdrive. That's the cuddle hormone, and it's just the trick for curing sleepless nights and anxious days. It can even form a small part of your depression therapy.
  • It can lower the risk of prostate cancer: Even Harvard University thinks you should have more P-spot orgasms. Researchers recently found out that pleasure and prostate health are intricately linked. 21 or more orgasms a month are ideal, but even seven monthly ejaculations can reduce prostate cancer risk. Hop to it, my friends.

The Pleasure Benefits

pleasure benefits to prostate massage

  • It can help with a stronger erection: By increasing blood flow to the pelvic area, prostate milking can bring you turbocharged erection capabilities, strength and hardness of the erection, while even increasing ejaculate production.
  • It can result in a stronger orgasm: By incorporating prostate play during intercourse, you can achieve an orgasm that’s significantly stronger than only having penis stimulation. How much bigger is this next-level orgasm? Some claim 33 percent bigger. With kegel exercises in the mix, you can dial up orgasm strength like the beautiful bass on a pair of heavy duty Bose speakers.
  • It can result in multiple orgasms: Traditional orgasms result in what’s called a refractory period. With prostate massage, there is no refractory period. You might lose your erection post-ejaculation, but with the prostate at your side, you can keep going and going (and going).

Prostate Massage: The How-to

Whether you're going solo or with the help of a partner, there are as many ways to massage a prostate as there are to stimulate a penis. You can circle, tap, press or stroke it in a come-hither motion. You can expose it to vibrators or pressure toys. You can stimulate it anally or through the taint. This is the time for experimenting. Welcome to one of your greatest sexual adventures!

How to Prepare for Prostate Massage Milking

Relax: Prostate pleasure is hugely dependent on how relaxed you (and your anus) are prior to penetration. If you are getting nervous or feeling uncomfortable, your anal sphincter tends to tighten, making penetration painful. So, for the best shot at a prostate orgasm, it’s important that you get relaxed, comfortable and aroused. Try taking a hot steamy shower, turning on some soothing music, practice breathing exercises, or surround yourself with pillows in bed. It’s your warm up, do whatever you need to get yourself in the mood.

relax before prostate massage

Wash up: While some anal play enthusiasts swear by enemas, you don't need to perform a dramatic washout before play. Fecal matter doesn't usually hang out in the rectum, so a small enema bulb or well-directed shower head will take care of the few inches you need to cleanse before your first prostate massage.

Disinfect: If you’re using toys, make sure they are carefully cleaned of any residue prior to use. Sterilize them in a UV sterilizer bag after, which kills 99.9% of bacteria from your toys without harming that expensive velvety surface. Ultraviolet Germicidal Irradiation might sound like a mouthful, but it's as easy as packing your kit and waiting.

Add Waterproofing: Bodies don't always do what you expect them to, and lube is messy, so prepare your play space with some towels.

waterproof before prostate massage

Use the bathroom: Prostate play can make you feel as though you need to urinate, so a last stop to the bathroom will make you feel a little safer.

Lubricate: The three most important rules for prostate massage is:

  1. Lube
  2. Lube
  3. And more lube.

How to Choose the Best Anal Lube

How to Choose the Best Anal Lube

For massages - coconut and almond oils are great for sensual massages and anal play, but not if you plan on wearing a condom or playing with a toy. Oil will quickly cause tugging, tearing and warping, so go for a high-quality water-based lubricant instead.

For penetration - the anus isn’t self-lubricating so you’ll want to buy a lube that creates a good friction barrier. This means a thick silicone lubricant for anal play, because it’ll never dry out. A good silicone lubricant will keep your skin happy and evade irritation, but keep in mind it too will warp your silicone toys.

For sex toys - You can not use silicone lube with silicone toys, so you'll need to resort to water-based lubricants. High-quality water-based lubes are thicker and longer lasting than those of lesser quality. Your prostate will thank you for paying a little more for a well-formulated product.

Start with an External Massage First

Anal play isn't for everyone, but that's what the taint is for. The tiny centimeter between your testicles and rectum is your prostate's secret side entrance.

A full erection should engorge your prostate enough to make discovery a cinch, but without buzzy toys, you'll need to put some muscle into stimulation. Lie on your back, curl your legs towards your chest, and exert well-lubed pressure onto the middle of your landing strip, aiming backwards, towards the spine.

External Massage First

You can throw your knuckles into the mix if finger pressure isn't causing the requisite squealing, and for god's sake, don't forget the lube!

The better you understand the male anatomy, the easier your journey of discovery will be, so break out the metaphorical flashcards and study up. You will be quizzed on your proficiency up next.

Hitting the Prostate with an Internal Massage

Your forefinger is so perfectly sized that you might think Mother Nature had prostate play in mind when she designed the hand.

  • Stroking: Lube up, then insert your finger all the way in. Once you've penetrated to the knuckle, push towards the navel in a come-hither motion. That little bump you feel is the prostate, and it's never been happier than it is right now.
  • Circling: If you can withstand it, a circular motion will keep prostate pressure more constant. Widen your circles to dial your intensity down.
  • Pressing: Reduce intensity by pressing on the spot repeatedly as if ringing a doorbell.

The P-spot needs far more gentleness when you're accessing it this way, so start slowly and remember that if it feels bad, it probably is bad, so stop and try things a little differently. Pain is your body's warning system. If you listen to it well enough, you'll avoid tears, irritation, and damage.

Positions to Try

If you're not used to anal play, your first try might make you feel a little like a contortionist. Whoever put the prostate in the butt deserves to be attacked with a paintball gun. Never fear, though. We're here to give you a few pointers. Try these positions:

legs up position for prostateLegs Up: Hooray for A-grade access. The legs up position makes your landing strip super-easy to stimulate. In solo play, the legs up position gives you hands-on and hands-free access to all the sexiest prostate-fun body parts.

face down position for prostateFace Down: A face-down position makes penetration a little trickier, so some men write it off as too much like hard work. It has a benefit, though: it gives you better control of your sphincter, which lets you grasp a toy or body part for extra X-rated fun. Hint: insert, then straighten out. See? Wasn't that easy?

side position for prostateOn Your Side: If you're hoping for a prostate-only orgasm, lying on your side helps you to obliterate all sensation at the front of your body. If you're with a partner, it's more penis-inclusive than some of the alternatives. This pose is great for solo play because it lets you draw your muscles into the mix.

doggy style position for prostateDoggy Position: If you're new to anal play, this is the way you want to take your first training butt plug. Prostate play can make you feel like an octopus with far too many arms and legs getting in the way. Doggy position fixes that problem while simultaneously helping you to control your sphincter.

Adding Toys into Prostate Play

Toys can turn C-grade experiences into A-grade spectaculars worthy of their own Hollywood movie. Insertables let you stimulate the prostate during intercourse or solo play hands-free. Adding buzz to the mix can break the ceiling of intensity and send you into an entirely different universe. Start small, though—literally. Fingers first, trainer butt plugs next, and rumbly adult toys after that.

Adding Toys into Prostate Play

Butt Plugs - If you're a beginner, pressure toys like the humble butt plug or anal hook will keep prostate stimulation constant during other kinds of play. Start small, but don't be afraid to graduate to bigger plugs if your beginner toy isn't quite hitting the spot.

Dildos - Once you’ve graduated from the butt plug you may want to move on up to something that can provide more depth—the dildo. Keep in mind that sudden insertion is for pros, here. If you're new to anal play, every tiny millimeter of penetration counts, so move gently and slowly.

Vibrators - The easiest (and most delicious) way to hunt for the P-spot is with a vibrating prostate massager. Quality vibrators have a deeper, more potent vibration that dials up orgasm power exponentially. They're also made with medical-grade silicone, which feels like velvet and looks sexier to boot. Never underestimate the talents of a low, rumbling hum. If in doubt, listen. A high-pitched buzz is an ineffective buzz. Your body will thank you for choosing a deeper sounding growl.

Benefits of Using a Vibrating Massager

Relying on butt plugs or dildos for sexual pleasure is like using a Swiss Army Knife solely as a keyring. There is a whole world of vibrations to play with, and they all achieve varying sensations by utilizing different techniques.

Benefits of Using a Vibrating Massager

  • Vibrations - Strongly consider buying a prostate massager with multiple speeds and pulse settings. This way, as you get closer to orgasm, you can up the vibration-ante.
  • Pressure - If you plan on playing solo, you can control the pressure much easier with a toy. Experiment with different pressures by pressing the toy against the prostate until you find the sweet spot that shoots you to the moon.
  • Depth - Another benefit to using a massager while solo is that you can play with the depth much easier than you would be able to otherwise. Try a toy with length so that you can go as deep as your prostate craves.
  • Dual Sensation - Look for a prostate massager that has an external stimulator attached to give your perineum some needed attention while the other end penetrates, sending out vibrations internally through your entire body.

Ready to Play?

With so many options out there, you may be thinking... What is the best prostate massager to begin my magical journey with?

Tomo II Come Hither Prostate Massager

tomo II prostate massager

It doesn't get much easier than the Tomo II for a first timer—a rumbly masterpiece of a P-spot vibrator for anyone who needs just enough bulk in all the right places.

Its girth and curves are anatomically perfect, packing a handsfree punch where it matters: the prostate, perineum, and anus. It fits snugly, so you won't be stopping to readjust with every "mmmm."

It’s wireless remote teases, hands-free, from a distance, and its secondary head gives your prostate attention from two directions simultaneously.

Better yet, it's waterproof, so if you need extra romance, just add water. The Tomo II is built to provide that come hither motion you adore, even during solo play.

Tomo II Beginner Bundle

Tomo II Beginner Bundle

If you're a complete newbie to prostate pleasure, your best bet is with the Tomo II Beginner Bundle which includes our favorite Ride water-based lube and Wicked foam toy cleanser—all with a 15% savings than if you were to purchase individually.

The lube has a seaweed extract base which creates the perfect viscosity for toy play, while the cleanser makes clean-up quick and easy post-playtime. First-time prostate massages don't get more convenient or wallet-friendly than this.

Thor Rotating Prostate Massager

Thor Rotating Prostate Massager

Maybe you’ve gone through this guide a couple times, and you feel like it’s time to graduate to a bigger, girthier prostate massager. That’s when Thor comes in.

Awarded Best-in-Class by Gadget Review among top prostate massagers, Thor is large and in charge. Made for the more experienced prostate players, it can remain in place for the ultimate hands-free solo experience.

Thor’s girthy bulge is anatomically designed to fit snugly inside of you, delivering a sensation of unprecedented fullness that many only dream about.

The perfectly contoured shape pairs wonderfully with another alluring feature—a powerful 360° rotating head which circles and taps the prostate for highly targeted internal prostate stimulation.

If Thor can’t find your prostate, then I don’t know what can. Ready to find yours? Save 15% by grabbing the Thor Master Bundle. Happy hunting.

Wrapping it All Up

Alas, the guide is coming to a close and we’ve been on quite the journey together. Shall we reminisce?

The practice of prostate massage is completely safe and, it's worth reminding everyone, has nothing to do with sexual orientation. With the addition of so many associated health benefits, people of all walks of life have found that it has enhanced their sex lives, either by themselves or with a partner.

prostate massage for all walks of life

As you experiment, you'll learn exactly how to find your prostate's happy place.

...Some find their prostate a pressure-sluts, and some are more vibrator-happy.

...Some need old fashioned finger pressure, and some want to explore every possibility available to them.

...Some require a mental game and some, a physical one.

And remember, Beginners, just take things slow and progress at your own pace. We’ve dropped the knowledge on a multitude of techniques, helpful positions, prostate preparedness, and all its pleasure and health benefits so you can make informed decisions towards your exploration.

trying out prostate massage

Now if you haven't already, we encourage you to give prostate massage a try. The happiest prostates have creative owners, so don't be afraid to try new things.

There is no one-size-fits-all prostate massage technique, and thank god for that, because we are all unique and can enjoy our own personal paths to prostate pleasure and wellness.