If you are a person who was assigned male at birth, you have a prostate. Surprise!
If you didn’t know you had a prostate, never took that clinical anatomy class, or you didn’t know that making moves on that prostate could lead to an orgasm, there is no need to feel embarrassed or out of the loop.
The prostate can be the center of pleasure in a person’s body, yet there are so many people who have not explored it because of the social stigma around butt stuff.
We are here to tell you that if you have a prostate, spending time exploring that area and experiencing the most pleasurable and intense orgasm you have ever had will not “make you gay.”
While you may be satisfied with your penile orgasms right now, we can promise you that you are missing out on an amazing experience. Many people have found that penile orgasms can hardly compare to prostate orgasms.
So what exactly does a prostate orgasm feel like? And how can you achieve one? Read on to get all the sexual health answers you need.
What Is a Prostate?
The prostate is crucial for reproduction purposes — this organ makes prostate fluid, which is a main component of semen. The prostate muscles also work to make sure that the semen makes it through the urethra and out of the penis during ejaculation.
So, the prostate is essential for semen production and expulsion — but believe it or not, the prostate also serves a purpose when it comes to pleasure. Also called the P-spot, the prostate is your go-to spot if you’re looking for intense pleasure and better-than-ever orgasms!
The prostate is full of nerve endings — that means it is incredibly sensitive in a good way! Your prostate gland swells during arousal, and indirect or direct pressure during sex may help you achieve a mind-blowing p-spot orgasm!
Where Is the Prostate?
The prostate is the size of a walnut and is located in the middle of a person’s pelvis, below the bladder, and in front of the rectum. It can be accessed internally or externally, depending on what you are trying to achieve.
It locates just a few inches inside the anus, making it easily accessible.
How Do I Access the Prostate?
Although the prostate is located inside your body, it can actually be accessed from inside and outside of your body!
Although the prostate is located three to four inches inside the rectum, it also can be stimulated externally by the perineum. The perineum is the landing strip of skin located between the testicles and anus.
When pressure is applied to this area of the body, it can indirectly stimulate the prostate and provide some of the same pleasurable effects.
This might be a nice starting point if you are interested in exploring prostate stimulation. Your partner can put pressure on this area while they are performing oral sex or while you are penetrating them.
Also, you can obviously explore this area during a solo-play session to figure out where and what feels best!
As we have already discovered, the prostate is located just a few inches inside the anus. In order to access it internally, you just have to insert a lubed finger or toy inside your anus and point the finger or toy towards the belly button.
If you are using your finger, you will most likely feel a fleshy bulge that feels different from the surrounding tissue.
Most people have found that applying pressure internally on the prostate with a finger, toy, or penis leads to mind-blowing orgasms.
Preparation for Prostate Orgasm
Now that we’ve covered the basics — like what the prostate is, where you can find it, and the fact that it can bring you to orgasm — it’s time to shed light on how you can reach a prostate orgasm of your own!
Let’s get one thing straight — you should start by going to the bathroom 30-60 minutes before prostate play to ensure that your bowels are empty. This crucial step can also help calm any fears about butt play being “messy” or “gross.”
After using the bathroom, wash your behind with soap and water, or opt for hypoallergenic baby wipes to make sure everything is fresh and clean.
Believe it or not, your diet can certainly play a role in how smooth (ornot so smooth) your first-time anal play experience goes. We get it, anal play can initially sound messy, but we promise there are plenty of things you can do to keep your bum clean and ready.
A healthy diet can be conducive to better anal sex. More specifically, make sure to eat enough protein and fiber.
Protein intake can help harden and form your waste, and fiber makes sure you have an easy time getting rid of that waste. When protein and fiber work together, you can have regular bowel movements that help lower your chance of getting an unwanted surprise during bedroom play.
On the other end of things, you may want to avoid drinking coffee, caffeinated beverages, or excessive amounts of alcohol prior to anal penetration or play because of the way these drinks can get your bowels moving.
Anuses don’t self-lube, so t’s up to you and your partner to keep things slick and slippery.
A good lube is crucial for good anal play. Without lube, anal sex can quickly become very painful and unenjoyable and may even cause mild bleeding if tears occur in the tissues of the anal canal.
Before you insert a finger, a prostate massager, or anything into your rectum, especially for the first time, generously lube the anus and the penetrating object. Proper lubrication can help lower the risk of tears, discomfort, and pain.
Keep in mind that it is essential not just to use lube, but to use the right kind of lube. You want a lubricant that will be safe and gentle on skin, genitalia, toys, and fingers, and one that won’t leave stains on your sheets that give away your sexy secrets.
Water-based lube is safest to use on skin and toys, and it is easy to wash off clothes or sheets — no stains left behind.
It is also important to choose a lube that is thick so that it doesn’t require frequent reapplication.
A thicker lube formulation will hang around for longer, which means anal play can remain comfortable without the need to keep adding more lube.
We know, we know — it’s a lot to think about! That’s why we make it easy with our lube which was made specifically for butt stuff. No stress, no mess.
Introducing: Our Wicked Jelle Water Based Anal Lube. This lube addresses the specific needs of anal play, whether you’re using butt plugs, fingers, a penis, or anything else! This lube is long-lasting and smooth, and not sticky (you’re welcome). It also provides the extra cushion and glide that makes anal play fun.
We have also eliminated the use of desensitizing ingredients from our luxurious formula to ensure that you can enjoy safety, sensation, and pleasure. Who wouldn’t want that?
What Makes a Prostate Orgasm Different From a Penile Orgasm?
They’re More Intense
Although penile stimulation orgasms are associated with four to eight pelvic muscle contractions, prostatic massage orgasms are associated with 12 contractions.
While penile orgasms may result in intense pleasure felt in the penis, prostate orgasms can result in a full-body experience. After a prostate orgasm, you will feel it from your racing head to your curled toes.
They Last Longer (and So Will You)
Have you ever wished the pleasure of an orgasm was more than an ultra-quick rush? Then prostate orgasms are your answer!
While penile orgasms can provide a short burst of pleasure, prostate orgasms can give you a longer, eyes rolling to the back of your head, drawn-out, explosive experience.
Also, not only will your orgasms last longer, but you might as well. Prostate play might be a great option to explore if you struggle with climaxing sooner than desired from penile penetration.
They Can Make Your Erections Stronger
Prostate stimulation is one way to increase blood flow around the genitals. This improved circulation may lead to stronger and longer-lasting erections.
Stronger erections can lead to increased confidence, which can result in improved sexual performance. As a result, both you AND your partner may experience the health benefits of prostate play!
They’re Less Draining
Don’t you hate it when your partner is ready for round two, and you are still in the depths of a post-climax comedown? Well, once again, prostate orgasms are the answer!
Compared to penile orgasms, prostate orgasms often require a shorter refractory period or recovery time in general.
For that reason, prostate orgasms are sometimes associated with the possibility of multiple orgasms. No more time spent waiting around — you will be ready for the back-to-back orgasm experience.
It’s challenging to explain how prostate orgasms stack up — and what makes them so magical. We’ve compiled some personal reviews to spice up the deal.
“I’ve never had an orgasm so powerful. It’s addicting, scarily addicting. The last one I had I think I was actually leaning back convulsing. It’s too damn good.” - Anonymous
“I was experiencing multiple orgasms. it was like my entire body was having the orgasm.” - Luna
“My legs started to quiver and shake involuntarily, and after about 20 minutes I had the most mind blowing orgasm I ever had.” - Robert
“Then all of a sudden my head began to shake, the head began to move involuntarily to the left and to the right, my eyes began to involuntarily open and close, my entire body began to quiver. I never felt anything like this. My head began to spin from the ecstasy it was an orgasm. Waves of orgasm like an electric shock.” - Frank
Sounds pretty good, right? Now that we’ve covered what makes a prostate orgasm so powerful, let’s look at how to have one.
How To Have a Prostate Orgasm
Okay — now that you are cleaned up with empty bowels and the right lube, it’s time to start exploring the prostate and introduce new sexual activities into your nights (or days)!
There are a few different ways to do this, and it might take some trial and error to find out what is right for you specifically. However, it’s important not to rush into anything. Just take your time, and remember that any sexual experience should be enjoyable, not painful or uncomfortable.
Similarly, no matter how you decide to stimulate your prostate, go slowly and take it easy. Make sure you are taking long, deep breaths while penetrating your behind so that your muscles stay relaxed and comfortable.
If you experience pain or discomfort, you are in control — take a break, slow down, or do whatever you need to to relax during the experience.
Warming up with a finger or two can be beneficial to get used to new sensations. You can begin by massaging the area with your fingers to stimulate blood flow and relax the muscles.
Once you or your partner are feeling completely comfortable and relaxed, apply a generous amount of lube to the finger as well as the outside of the anus. The more lube, the better, and it is better to use too much lube than not enough.
Insert a finger very slowly into the anus. The prostate is a few inches deep — you may be able to easily locate it by pointing your fingers in the direction of the belly button.
Once the prostate has been found, you can try a few different methods of prostate stimulation.
Stroking: For the stroking method, you can use one finger to press toward the navel in a “come here” sort of motion. Move slowly, and wait to increase the speed (or pressure) until you are sure that you or your partner are comfortable doing so.
Circling: The circling method can be helpful if you feel like you’re struggling to maintain constant motions. With the pad of your finger, make circles around the entire prostate. If the feeling is a bit too intense, widen the circles even more or slow down the pace.
Pressing: The pressing method can be a good introductory technique that is easy to do and is generally not too intense — perfect for anyone new to the world of prostate play. Press down repeatedly on the prostate with the pad of a finger as if you are ringing a doorbell. This technique also allows you to use different speeds and pressures based on what feels good to you or your partner.
You can choose to continue stimulating the prostate until you reach orgasm if you are comfortable doing so. The new sensations can be strange to get used to, so keep in mind that you can take a break whenever you want to and try again another time if you wish.
Once you get more comfortable using your finger for play, you might feel ready to step it up and try a toy to reach a prostate orgasm. The good news is that there are plenty of anal toys to choose from.
A vibrating prostate massager is a sex toy that you can use either during solo play or during play with a partner to spice things up. They are designed so that they fit comfortably in your anus to reach your prostate. These toys sometimes also have motion to provide increased sensations that can lead to full-body orgasms.
Use a generous amount of lube on both the prostate massager and on the anus, and slowly insert the tip until the widest point is at the external muscle — if you feel pain during insertion, stop the process, take a deep breath, and relax. You can go at your own pace.
Once you are comfortable inserting the massager the rest of the way, slowly rock the toy back and forth until the entire head is inside the anus.
Do not force anal stimulation if you are in pain. Forcing insertion can cause your muscles to tighten up, making penetration and climax more difficult — and potentially painful. Wait to continue with any sexual stimulation until you feel ready and comfortable.
Check out our prostate massagers if you are ready to embark on the next step in your journey to a prostate orgasm!
A penis can also reach the prostate when inserted into the anus. If you decide you want to have penetrative, anal sex with your partner, be sure to have an honest and open conversation about it. This can help ensure that you both feel comfortable with it and understand each other’s limits.
This is a crucial part of safe and pleasurable anal play.
Start with foreplay to ensure you or your partner are feeling warmed up. Then, use a generous amount of lube on both the penis and anus.
At this point, you can slowly guide the penis into the anus. Go slowly, and talk to your partner about how you are feeling and whether you are in pain. Work together with your partner to find what feels best in order to reach the prostate comfortably.
The prostate isn’t located very far into the anus, which means that it might not take much to reach it with a penis. Some people even find that shorter strokes reach the prostate more effectively than strokes that have the penis fully enter the anus.
Positions to Try
It may take some trial and error to find the positions that feel the best. If you are new to prostate stimulation, it might feel intimidating to try new positions, and you may even be feeling a little bit lost as to how your own or your partner’s body should be positioned.
Here are a few positions that can make prostate stimulation generally easy, even for beginners.
For the legs-up position, lay on your back and bring both legs upwards, with your bum planted on the ground. This will make both your landing strip and anus easily accessible.
If you are playing solo, use one hand to hold your legs in place and use the other hand to reach around your body and inside your anus.
If you are with a partner, you can hug your knees to your chest while your partner stands or kneels in front of you. They will be able to reach your prostate internally or externally with a finger, toy, or penis.
To reach this position, you just have to lay down on your stomach on a comfortable surface. Be sure your neck feels properly supported.
If you are solo, use one arm to reach behind yourself, rest it on your back, and use your fingers or a toy to penetrate your anus.
If you are with a partner, you can lie down with both of your arms at your sides and your legs slightly apart. Have them sit on either side of you and stimulate your prostate with a toy or finger.
On Your Side
To get into this position, you just need to lie on one side and bring up your outside leg. Some people find it comfortable to rest the outside leg on a pillow once it is brought up closer to the chest.
If you are alone, you can reach around your hip and access your anus with a toy or a finger.
If you are with a partner, they can sit down or lay behind you and access your anus that way. This position is one of the most conducive to penetration with a penis.
To get into this position, all you have to do is get on all fours. You want to be sure to do this on a bed, couch, carpet, or rug. If you do it on a hard surface, it might be painful after a while.
If you are playing solo, you can reach your arm back in between your legs and access your anus that way.
If you are with a partner, they can stand or kneel behind you and stimulate your prostate internally or externally. This position is also a great option for penile penetration.
Is It Easy To Have a Prostate Orgasm?
Just like any sexual experience, try to keep any expectations or assumptions to a minimum.
Sexual pleasure looks different for every person and couple, especially for prostate stimulation and orgasms. For many people, it’s going to be an entirely new sensation, and you might be ready to dive right in or approach it cautiously.
You might reach orgasm on your first try, or it may take you a couple of times. Don’t put any expectations on yourself. Just enjoy the time you are dedicating to exploring your body and discovering what feels good.
If you aren’t having success with your fingers or your partner's penis, a prostate massager might be just the answer. You can even take our quiz to find out which toy is best for you.
Good luck, and enjoy! We know you will!
How does the prostate work? - InformedHealth.org | NCBI Bookshelf
Normal male sexual function: emphasis on orgasm and ejaculation. | NCBI
PROSTATIC MASSAGE: A PRACTICAL AND THEORETICAL DISCUSSION | JAMA