The Art of the Anal Massage and Foreplay

Anal massage can be a great way to arouse your partner and get them in the mood for anal play.

Massages are a romantic and sensual way to express desire and love to your partner. Lighting some candles, dimming the lights, and rubbing your partner up and down with a body oil is a great way to set the scene for sex or date night. 

However, the anus often gets overlooked during a body massage, even though giving your partner an anal massage can be oh so pleasurable and totally sexy.

An anal massage is also an essential step during foreplay before anal sex.

If you are new to anal massages, don’t worry – we are here to help! You can take a few steps to make sure the experience is fun, safe, and pleasurable. Additionally, we are here to help you figure out how to incorporate it into your foreplay to make sure your body is totally prepared for further play. 

What is an Anal Massage?

An anal massage isn’t much different from what you would expect: it uses a tool (like your hand or a toy) to massage the anus. If you’re new to the allure of this type of massage, you might not know about the power of the prostate or the importance of anal foreplay.

The prostate is located in every penis-ower. It is a small organ that is located just inside the rectum. The prostate is surrounded by thousands of nerve endings, leading to a powerful orgasm when stimulated the right way.

The Art of the Anal Massage and Foreplay

In fact, research has shown that prostate-induced orgasms are often more pleasurable than orgasms induced by the penis. There are many different ways to stimulate the prostate, and a prostate massage is a perfect way to explore what feels good. 

Besides stimulating the prostate and giving yourself or your partner a powerful orgasm, an anal massage is essential for warming up before anal play. The tissues surrounding the anus are sensitive, meaning you are at risk of tearing if you are not properly lubed and warmed up. Your body can naturally relax and feel more prepared for play by massaging the exterior muscles. 

Who Can Do an Anal Massage? 

While the prostate is only located in penis owners, anyone can give or receive an anal massage. If your partner has a prostate and you want to spoil them with an anal massage, start slow and have frequent check-ins with your partner.

You can try different techniques and tools, but ask your partner what feels best. They may want you to go faster, slower, harder, or softer. What’s important is that both of you feel comfortable and safe. 

Remember: anal massages are supposed to be pleasurable, not painful.

If you want your partner to give you an anal massage, bringing it up to your partner can be intimidating. However, open communication is a crucial foundation of a healthy relationship, so you should feel safe to bring up any desires you have for your partner. 

An easy way to bring an anal massage up is to spark a conversation around anal play. Then, once you have expressed your desire, you can talk about what tools you feel comfortable using and what you want the experience to feel like.

How To Give an Anal Massage

The Art of the Anal Massage and Foreplay

The most important thing to remember is to go slowly! If you don’t take your time, you may risk injury or tear. Go slowly, and use the proper tools to help you and your partner discover what feels best.


Before you start, you have to make sure you have plenty of lube! Honestly, when it comes to anal play, there is no such thing as too much lube. We know there is an overwhelming amount of lube on the market, so we are here to help you figure out which is best for you.

You want to keep in mind the consistency, usability, and safety of the lube. You want to make sure your lube is thick enough to properly coat the area and give enough moisture to allow your hand or toy to slide in and around the anus easily. 

A thick lube should stick around longer, so even though reapplication is most likely unavoidable, you can still find a lube that doesn’t get absorbed into the skin instantly. 

Next, you have to make sure the lube you are using is compatible with your chosen tools. Water-based lubes are usually the best option since they are safe for the body and any sex toys you use.

With some lubes, you may risk deteriorating the top of your toys and causing them to be unsanitary, but a water-based lube may work with any toy without leaving any stains. 

We know it’s a lot to think about, so check out our Wicked Jelle Water Based Anal Lube

Wicked Jelle is thick, long-lasting, and never sticky. This lube stays put and provides extra cushioning and superior glide. We’ve perfected our formula to ensure safety, sensation, and pleasure.


The easiest way to get started with an anal massage is to use your hands. However, before you start, make sure that your hands are cleaned, and your fingers are covered with lube. You should also add some lube directly to the anus.

Use your fingers to make slow circles on the external muscles that surround the anus. This will encourage relaxation in the muscles, making penetration much easier. If you are the person receiving the anal massage, be sure to have control of your breathing.

Once you have massaged the external muscles, you can slowly insert one or two fingers into your partner’s anus. If your partner is a penis owner, you’ll find their prostate located just a few inches inside their rectum. 

Point your finger toward their belly button, and you should feel a fleshy bulge that feels different from the surrounding area. Once you find the prostate, there are a variety of techniques to use. You can move your fingers in small circles, tap your fingers on the prostate, or perform a “come hither” motion.

Double the Fun

tomo come hither

Once you feel comfortable using your hands, you might be ready to move on to something more intense or hands-free. There are plenty of toys on the market designed specifically to stimulate the prostate. However, you want to make sure you are buying safe and user-friendly toys. 

Our Tomo II Prostate Massager is designed to fit comfortably inside the anus. This toy moves in a “come hither” motion while stimulating the perineum (the strip of skin located between the scrotum and anus). This gives you double the stimulation and pleasure. 

The Vulcan Vibrating Prostate Plug is another great hands-free option that lets your penis in on the fun. The toy fits comfortably inside your anus, but it also has penis and scrotum rings to increase the points of stimulation. This toy is designed to stimulate your prostate in various motions, allowing you to experiment with what feels best for you. 

Find Pleasure With GIDDI

Before using any toy, be sure your anus and the head of the toy are properly lubed. If you are having trouble inserting the toy, you can try wiggling the toy from side to side as you take long, deep breaths to get it in. 

Once you have it inside, it should fit snugly and be situated right by your prostate. It may be a new sensation, but you might want to take it out and try again if it is painful or uncomfortable. After all, anal massages are meant to be a comfortable and enjoyable experience.

When you’re ready to finish, angle it up, turn on the vibrations and let the power of anal massage lead you to ecstasy!



Prostate‐induced orgasms: A concise review illustrated with a highly relevant case study - Levin - 2018 - Clinical Anatomy - Wiley Online Library

Prostate Gland | PCF

Are sex toys safe? | NHS

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