Is low libido cramping your sex life? Have you noticed that you’re less interested in sex, even with yourself, lately? Sex drive naturally ebbs and flows throughout our lives, but if it’s starting to cause problems, you don’t have to just sit back and take it.
We have 10 ideas for increasing sex drive in men to help get you back in the game.
What Is Low Libido?
Before getting into how to increase sex drive in men, let’s talk about what it means if it’s low. First of all, low libido is a super common problem — impacting up to one out of every five men at some point in their lives. We just don’t talk about it as much as we should, leading to a stigma around male sexual performance that only makes men less likely to seek help if it does happen to them.
But what is the loss of sex drive?
Decreased libido is more than just not wanting to have sex. If your libido is low, you may not even want to have sex with yourself!
Loss of libido can be not wanting to be physically intimate or not even thinking about sex at all. Some people may just go through the motions and continue having sex with their partners without being able to ejaculate, a common issue in older men.
Your sex drive is also incredibly multi-faceted. Remember, what happens to one part of your system impacts the others — including your mind. Your sex drive is no different — low libido can result from a physical issue, a relationship struggle, or dips in your mental health.
Finding a solution for it also requires looking at multiple elements; you can’t just treat one part of the whole and hope for the best. That’s why our suggestions for increasing sex drive in men involve all aspects of who you are instead of treating you like you’re not the sum of your parts.
1. Exercise More for Your Sexual Well-Being
If you’ve been less than motivated to get naked, increasing the amount of physical activity you get during the week may help. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but exercise also helps to increase your natural testosterone levels. Testosterone is a significant part of male libido, so finding ways to boost it naturally can put your sex hormone levels back on the right path.
Exercise can also help reduce obesity — don’t underestimate how much feeling good about your body can put you in the mood! Plus, the health benefits of regular exercise positively impact your mind and body.
Even just a quick walk or running a few times a week can make a difference. Think of it as a way to help boost your mood, make your body feel better, increase your energy levels and performance (the healthier you are, the longer you can go), and feel good about your appearance.
All of these factors can make you a happier human, making it more likely that you’ll want to get intimate.
2. Try Supplements
Although supplements can’t fix your low libido, certain options may help a bit. Most supplements that claim to boost your sex drive or act as aphrodisiacs haven’t been tested on humans, so you’ll want to check with your doctor before starting them.
Some of the more popular libido supplements that do have at least a little scientific backing include L-arginine and yohimbine (which can help open up blood vessels, increasing blood flow to the genitals and improving erectile function). However, they may have side effects, so use them with caution — especially if you’re already taking other medications.
But don’t discount the placebo effect! Even if you take a supplement that isn’t proven, believing that you’re taking something that can help can also boost your libido. The mind is a powerful thing.
3. See a Therapist
Sexual health isn’t all physical; a mental component also comes into play. Discovering how to increase sex drive in men may also include seeing a therapist to address any emotional or mental health stumbling blocks holding you back.
In some situations, sex therapy can be helpful. Sex therapists are trained to look directly at issues in the bedroom to get right to the heart of the problems.
You can see a therapist on your own, but you may also want to consider bringing your partner if you’re in a long-term relationship. Low libido impacts both of you, as we’ll discuss in a minute, so coming up with a solution should also include your partner (when you’re comfortable including them, of course).
4. Experiment More in the Bedroom
Sometimes it isn’t necessarily a lack of sexual desire for your partner; it’s boredom. Even the most loving, supportive long-term relationship can get stale if you don’t take steps to spice it up every once in a while.
Sure, it’s great to have sex with a partner who knows your body and knows how to get you off easily — but if you’re always falling into the same routine, it will lose its luster in a hurry.
Be open to trying new things — new sexual acts, new positions, prostate massage, etc. Relighting that spark may be all you need to return to feeling like your old, horny self again.
Try some role-playing with your partner or talk about your secret kinks and fetishes you’ve always wanted to try to keep things interesting while also bringing you closer together as a couple. Sexual exploration is hot!
5. Get Better Sleep
Sleep can impact nearly every part of your life, but most of us need to improve at prioritizing it. When you get quality sleep, you wake up feeling refreshed, your mood is better, and you have plenty of energy to carry you through the day. When you don’t, you likely find that you’re dragging at the end of the day — not exactly an optimal situation for lovemaking.
If you’re struggling with knowing how to improve your sleep, here are a few suggestions:
- Set, and stick with, a bedtime routine — get to bed at the same time, wake up at the same time, etc. Yes, even on the weekends.
- Try to stop drinking caffeine after noon. Even if you think you can handle it, caffeine’s impact on your system can linger and make it much harder for you to fall asleep.
- Remove as many distractions as possible in your sleeping environment. Invest in blackout curtains, buy a white noise machine, kick your pets out of the bedroom when you sleep, etc.
- Don’t exercise too close to bedtime. While exercise can help boost your libido, doing it too close to bedtime can make it more difficult to drift off into dreamland.
6. Lower Your Stress Level
Stress can also wreak havoc on your life, whether that’s official medical conditions like depression, anxiety, or transient life events. It’s hard to get in the mood when your stress level is high, plus sex is probably the last thing on your mind if you’re going through a particularly hard time in your life.
Practicing mindfulness can be helpful if you feel your stress levels start to creep up. Reminding yourself that your stressors are temporary and focusing your attention on what is happening in the moment instead is a super healthy mentality. Plus, regular meditation boosts your serotonin and dopamine levels, leaving you feeling happier and calmer.
Certain antidepressants can also lead to decreased sex drive. If you’re concerned that this may be the case, don’t just stop taking them — schedule an appointment with your healthcare provider to talk about it. There may be alternative medications you can try instead or other medications that can be added to counteract the issues you’re having with your sex drive.
7. Make Time for Foreplay
The type of sexual activity that you and your partner partake in can also impact your sex drive. If you find yourself just getting right down to it and treating sex like it’s just one more thing to check off your to-do list, you’re probably not enjoying it nearly as much as you could be.
Setting aside time for foreplay can put the romance back in your sex life and ensure your connection with your partner is as high as possible. Try having a date night — go out to the restaurant you had your first date, order the best champagne, turn your phones off, and reconnect.
Low libido can also just be feeling disconnected from your partner, so reminding yourself why you love them and how attracted you are to them can be enough to get things going in the bedroom again.
8. Talk to Your Partner About It
Your partner can’t fix what they don’t know is a problem. If you’re struggling with a low sex drive, talk to your partner about it. We know this can be an awkward conversation, and it can be challenging to make yourself vulnerable (even if you’ve been with your partner for a long time), but communication is crucial.
In fact, communication is one of the best things you can do for your love life, even when things are going well. You can’t expect your partner to be a mind-reader, after all.
Plus, many people take low libido personally, even though it’s not personal. You may be surprised that your partner has been worried that you’re not attracted to them anymore or that you’ve fallen out of love; talking to them can help reassure them that it isn’t their fault!
And even if there is some responsibility to be had, it’s far better to talk to them about it instead of just holding a grudge and letting it fester.
9. Drink Less Alcohol
Alcohol can definitely put you in the mood, but chronic alcohol use has the potential to contribute to erectile dysfunction. Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, so it slows everything in the body down (including blood flow). Over time, chronic alcohol use can also lead to high blood pressure (hypertension) and heart disease, which negatively impact sexual function.
Having a drink or two isn’t usually a big deal, but using it to get yourself in the mood to have sex can lead to far larger issues. It’s better to deal with the issue head-on and not self-medicate, especially if doing that can worsen the problem. If you think you have a problem, there’s nothing wrong with recognizing that you need help.
10. See a Doctor
If you’re experiencing a sudden change in your sexual desire or sexual performance, it’s always a good idea to talk to a healthcare professional. Other health conditions may be at play, or you may need testosterone replacement therapy to help counteract low testosterone levels. Plus, if erectile dysfunction is driving your issues with low libido, only a doctor can prescribe medications to help treat it.
We understand that bringing issues like this up with your doctor can feel intimidating, but that’s what they’re there for. Plus, you can discuss ways to manage your prostate health and other men’s health issues while you’re there and kill two birds with one stone.
Seeing a urologist can also help because the male urogenital system is what they do, and they’re uniquely qualified to address the situation.
Wondering how to increase sex drive in men? Dealing with lowered libido? Sexual desire is a complex issue, and it’s not going to be solved by one or two lifestyle changes.
To truly make a change in your sexual health and wellness, you need to commit to finding the reason you’re feeling that way and making the necessary changes to counteract them.
Combining medical care with changes to your sex life and lifestyle is the best way to approach it and get you back on your A-game in no time.